Depending is weakness
by Miss I DON'T know it all
Summary: "I need her here with me, or they would come again. They want to haunt me, i know, i can feel them lurking in the corners fo my mind when she's not here. I have to remind myself every second I am alone that she's still here. Freddy is gone. Not Katie." Keffy story, short chapters but that means faster uploading them ;) Post Freddy's death. M for possible smut later on.
1. Fuck my little bladder!

**First Keffy fic. I know chapters are short but i don't have a lot of time on my hands. Exams have been a bitch. Don't worry i will update all of my stories soon. I've had this one on my computer since september and thougth it might be time to share it with the world. Tell me what you think?**

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**Katie POV**

It was hard to open the door to my bedroom at first, carrying her in my arls like that. It wasn't that she was heavy or anything, in fact she was mere skin over bones these days. I guess the stress of it all had finally taken its toll on her frail body. I felt like a right cow when we got the news. She hadn't been trying to avoid us, she hadn't been doing any of it for attention and she certainly didn't have it all. In fact she probably had it worst out of all of us. I mentally kicked myself for trying to kick her when she was down, for being such an ignorant tit. I really had tunnel vision when it came to being fucking popular. I should've cared more, I realized. I should've looked at her and seen. But I didn't.

I laid her down gently on the bed and untangled her arms from my chest as I watched her curl back into a fetal position. Her eyes were open, it seemed she'd realized we were in the house but her icy blues were staring blankly at the wall. I wondered where she'd gone off to in her mind. I hoped it was a safe place and not filled with those shadows Freds had told me 'bout. Yeah we talked, we may have fucked lot but we talked. Mostly about her though. Should've guessed it right there and then huh?

I sighed heavily and turned towards my closet to pack some shit when I felt nature calling. I grumbled under my breath and took a sneak at her. She was still lying there, facing the wall, motionless. I didn't want to leave her alone, not that's he could actually go anywhere but still. My body however had other ideas and besides Katie Fitch does not pee in her pants or a bottle for that matter. I quickly glanced across the room but no, there was no bottle. I smacked myself for even considering the idea. I was just going to take a piss dammit. Nothing big about it. I tiptoed downstairs even though I knew there was nobody home. I sighed and closed the bathroom door.

When I was relieved of the tension in my lower regions I climbed up the stairs when suddenly I heard a bang. It startled me at first and I wondered what it was. When I felt the cool breeze raise goosebumps on my skin I realized what had happenend and raced up the stairs as fast as my legs could take me. I slammed the door open and came to an abrupt stop as I saw the now empty bed. I glanced around the room quickly and my eyes fell n the open window. My heart stopped for a minute and I felt an ache settle deep in my chest. It burned and my hand instinctively placed itself on top of my heart. There I stood frozen in my doorway with my eyes cast towards the ony item she had left behind on the bed. I didn't know what possessed me to go over there and take in my hands. With two outstretched arms I held the piece of clothing in front of me. Then I pressed it slowly to my chest, hugging it like it was my lifeline. I imagined it was he ri was hugging when the realization downed on me. No one had ever hugged her for the sake of hugging her and not in an attempt to kiss her or to hold her as she was scared. Not a possessive side hug with an arm wrapped around her shoulder either, just a hug for no intentions other than to give a hug. I sighed heavily and slumped towards the open window. I looked out but didn't see her on the street. She'd probably be a couple of blocks away by now. I realized I had probably scared her to death leaving her by herself but I was only gone five minutes to take a fucking piss! Maybe I should've warned her like I did back in the car. Yeah I should've warned her.

Another shot of pain surged through me and I felt the wetness on my cheeks. I was crying and I could feel the anger dissolve as worry and loneliness took it's place. I needed her here. I neede to see her, keep an eye on her as much for herself aas for my own. Everyone had someone at this moment to lean on but we were all we both had. I only had her and now she was gone. I listened to the painly cry in my heart and before I knew it I had opened my mouth and let out a heart wrenching scream.

**"Effy!"**

I poured everything I felt into her name. I didn't know if I was hoping she'd hear me in the distance or not. I just needed to scream her name.

_"Effy.."_

I whispered with the last bit of emotion I had and when nothing came or happened I clutched tighter to the memory of her in my bed as my hands had a vice grip on the article of clothing against my chest. I sniffled and turned back towards my closet. I pondered on how to open the damn thing without having to let go of the cloth in my arms. I must've stood there for a good couple of minutes looking like a right cow when I heard it.


	2. Freddie is dead

**Unbeta'd, mistakes are all mine. Let's see what happened when Cook told everyone Freddy was dead!  
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**R&R!**

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**Effy POV**

She had carried me all the way from the hospital to her car. I'd collapsed at the shed when Cook came barging in like he came straight out of a bad horror movie. His face was all brusied and cut and blood was dripping from the side of his head and his hands. But it wasn't until I heard the words come out his mouth that my legs lost all hope of keeping me up.

"Freds is dead."

Somebody had ripped the floor out from underneath me as it seemed like I couldn't stop falling. My head was dizzy and I only saw black. Freddy, the only one to really care about me and love me was gone. He was gone. Dead.

"Right** fucker** that shrink! Fucking _killed_ Freddy! _He's craz_y not his **fucking** patients."

He was panting hard as JayJay and Panda rushed to his side to keep him up as well. His voice was higher pitched and he was wheezing. He must've taken a blow to the chest that made it hurt to breathe or something.

"Fucking psycho tried to come at me too but I got to him first. Tried to swing his bat at me the fucker but tall I could see was him, killing Freddy. Lost bloody control after that yeah. Fucker won't make it out of his dump alive. Called the ambulance though but I skipped when I heard 'em coming."

I heard a shap intake of breath nexto my ear and I felt two arms wrap around em securely, trying to hold me close as I was rocked from sight to side gently while I heard a sweet voice whisper things in my ear. I pressed myself further into her ches as I curled up in her grip, which only tightened. I could vaguely hear people saying we had to go to the hospital and that we needed to contact the police. But it wasn't until I felt cool fingers trying to pry me away from her arms that I started sobbing and kicking whoever it was away. I heard mumbling and muttered some of my own incoherent words as I clung on to her like she was my lifeline. I heard her raspy voice again saying that she would carry me to the car. It was wet with tears and made me sob even harder. I felt her fingers brush through my hair as she whispered to me that she was going to lift me up but I couldn't respond. My mouth didn't seem to move. I tried to nod but I felt like I wasn't in control of my body at all anymore. I heard another voice saying something about 'shock' and 'meds' but I didn't pay attention. As soon as she carried me I realized she wasn't going to leave me and I felt a bit safer.

They were going to come for me now, with Freddy gone. They were going to taunt me, tell me they took Freddy away from me. They would win this time if they came. I was going to lose. As the panic rose up I felt her soft breath against my ear as she placed a sweet kiss against my earlobe. I relaxed slightly and waited for the shadows to come. But they didn't. I felt relieved when she gripped me tighter and held me on her lap as we drove away. She'd keep me safe. _For now._


	3. She can hear fucking fine!

**Getting to the drama, trust me, next chapter will be a bit more angsty. You guys know how i love slow build ups!**

**R&R!**

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**Effy POV**

The hospital was a blur to me. I remember being poked and prodded and called at but the voices sounded strange. My name wasn't said right, it didn't have a raspy sound to it, they didn't accent it like she did. It wasn't her Ef-_fy_. It was just Effy. And so I didn't answer them and just retreated into myself as I shifted and scrambled away from the poking fingers. I buried my face in her neck and inhaled her scent to keep reminding myself I was safe for now. She was here.

When she snapped at the doctors and nurses I loosened my grip a bit. She softly whispered my name and I pulled myself together enough to lift my head up and look her in the eyes.

"You can hear me _right babes_?"

I didn't have much in me and poured all my strength into the simple nod. She smiled at me sweetly and whispered softly in my ear.

"_Good girl._"

And I felt good, I felt better. For some reason her affirmation made me believe for a second I was.

"See you **stupid** fucks. She can hear and understand _just fine_. Now if **you'll excuse me** I need to get home and get some clothes for us all here."

I tuned everything out again as I felt her body move with the bounce of her steps. Apparently that had been enough to let me go home with her. But when I felt her grip loosen and the scratchy fabric itch against my back I wailed. I bolted upright and banged my head against hers, hard.

"Shit _babes_!"

I looked at her with wide eyes, conveying her my panic. She couldn't leave me. They would come and get me! I needed her! She couldn't leave me! I was begging her in my head since my mouth was still detached from my body somehow. Her eyes who had been scrunched shut in pain opened and looked at mine. I felt guilty for hurting her for a second before i whimpered again, my hands grasping at her in blind angst. I needed to feel her soft skin under my fingertips and remind myself she was still here. She wasn't gone, no not like Freddy. He was gone, not Katie. Katie was here, see?

I gently traced the red spot on her forehead with my fingertips. My touch wasn't more than a ghostly caress but her eyes blinked in surprise. She slowly gathered herself and cupped both my cheeks as my hand stilled and fell limply to my side.

" I need to drive, okay baby?"

I melted a bit at the use of her gently muttered nickname. The term of endearment had sounded so sweet coming out of her mouth and I felt instantly assured she wasn't going to leave. She waited for a response but I couldn't give her more.

"I'll be right next to yah, 'kay? I'm not going **anywhere** Effs, I just need to get us home safely."

It seemed she understood that I couldn't give her a verbal response as she walked to the other side of the car and drove us home.


	4. They're coming for me

**hey guys, i got bored on the plane so started writing, in fact i've written up until chapter six or eight i'm not sure how long i'm making them. Tell me if you're interested in me continuing this or not? R&R!**

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Effy POV

I hadn't even realized we were inside her house until she had laid me gently on her bed. I knew it was her bed because it smelled like her. I nuzzled the sheets for a second inhaling her calming scent. I heard some mumbling under her breath but when I turned around she was gone. The panic rose again and this time there was no Katie to stop them. I could feel them coming from the shadowy places in my mind. They were coming to haunt me, to taunt me about Freddy. How they killed him, how he left me. How everybody left me. Except they wouldn't ever leave me, they would always be with me till the end. I heard them shout at me in my head. _You worthless piece of thrash. _They only threw insults at me when they were mad. Why were they mad? _You killed him Effy, not us. You!_ No tat couldn't be true! _You killed him Effy. _I didn't kill him did i? Except I had. It was my own shrink that killed him. _He went to him. He went there because of you. _He was there for me. _He tried to get the shrink of your back. _He wanted to save me. _You killed him Effy. _I killed him. _He died because you thought you could get rid of us._ Freddy was dead because of me.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stay here. I had to get out, I had to leave this place. I had to run. I killed Freddy and soon everyone would be after me. _How will they like you now?_ I had only gotten a second chance yet I had hurt them all by letting that man get to me, letting him manipulate me into believing none of it ever happened. I had just wanted to believe it so badly. I had just wanted to be free for once, not tied down by the voices or the nightmares. _Did you really think you could squash us down Effy? _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. They'd never leave, ofcourse not. _Have we not always been there for you? Is that how you repay us? _I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. _We will always be here Effy, unlike your so called friends once they found out you are responsible for his death._ I took a painful breath. Katie. Oh how sweet she'd been to me so far. How she would hate me. _She loved him._ And I had taken him from her because he was the only one capable to love me enough to stay. _And look were that got him_. Katie would never forgive me.

I jumped off the bed nearly hitting my face against the window. I saw the opening right there in front of me. The window gave out on the street. Perfect. I looked to my right and to my utter joy I spotted a rain pipe, giving me a safer way out than jumping which I would not do well considering the fragile state of my body. This was my way out of here. I would be gone before Katie came back and they would be happy to see me gone. Katie would be received as the hero who finally chased away the villain. _You took away her boyfriend, her place in the spotlights, now she can finally have that back or is there something else you'd like to take from her? _Maybe Jayjay would be sad at First? He was a kind soul. _He said he hated how you broke up their friendship remember?_ Right, the three musketeers thing. _You ruined that. _I did. Maybe Cook would miss me although he'd let go soon enough. _You sure let him go plenty of times. _Yes, it was better if I went. Naomi's eyes flashed before her one more time, her heart begging her not to go. Naomi was her friend right? Surely she'd miss her? _Except she's with Emily now and the red head hates you still for what you did to Katie. _That's between me and Emily. And Naomi is her own person. _She'll never let Naomi close to you ever again and why would Naomi go against her? _She would! Naomi is strong willed! _She's got what you'll never have Effy. _No. _She's got love. _I know. _She won't give it up for anything. _I know.

In my new found panic and resentment I opened the window and started my way down. I figured I shouldn't rush to much or I'd be sprawled out on the pavement. I must've been halfway down before I heard a door slam and a loud "shit" echoing out of the window. Katie had returned sooner than I anticipated. I froze midway and stayed hanging there. Nobody ever looks down.

I saw her above me, clutching a sweater as lonely tears made their way down her cheek. _My sweater._ She was clutching **my** sweater? She looked like Julia, I thought, grieving her Romeo. Then I heard a piercing sound rip through me, turning every bone in my body to stone, silencing the voices at once and making them disappear altogether. When I heard her scream my name in such agony my heart just stopped. I could feel her pain, as if it was my own and I almost lost my footing. But far worse was the way she brokenly whispered my name afterwards whilst turning away from the window. Suddenly my panic had gone and the taunting shadows seemed like a bad dream. I had lost my mind for a second and in the process hurt Katie, who had been nothing but nice to me, looking after me, holding me, driving me here.

I hadn't realized maybe she needed to do that as much for herself as for me. She needed me right now and I had bailed on her the second the voices saw an opportunity. Dammit, I really needed to be fucking stronger than this and not just go running for the hills every time. It didn't matter that what they said was true to me, it might not be to others. I owed it to them not to run. Not again. And besides, unintentionally Katie had managed to keep me safe so far. The voices never came when she was around, in fact they seemed to disappear at the mere sight of her. She didn't even need to fight them off like Freddy had to. She just needed to be there.

With a new strength I didn't know I possessed I climbed back up and pushed myself through her window. Her back was turned to me as she faced the closet again. I let my feet dangle and hit my elbow against the wooden frame, cursing under my breath.


	5. Spooning

**Chapter 5 is up! I have written up to chapter 8 if you want to read it.. Tell me? Enjoy!**

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Effy POV

Her scared, brown eyes turned towards me and I felt unusually guilty, in fact it hit me so hard I felt like I was punched in the stomach. I cared for Katie, I realized. I didn't have to try and work for it. I just naturally felt things around her. But that didn't mean I knew how to act about them. So I tried to be the Glorious Effy Stonem and slip my aloof, all knowing mask back into place and observe from a distance so I could assess the situation. But somehow I felt like Katie just saw right through me. Those piercing eyes tore my soul apart as another tear fell down from her long eyelashes, caught by the pale flesh of her cheek where it continued to trickle down until it final splashed on the wooden floor. Her bottom lip trembled slightly as if she was trying to muster up the courage to say something but her sadness wouldn't allow her. The brief surprise at my return was replaced by another flash of sadness and a hint of anger.

"Don't." I begged her as I jumped off the window sill.

She turned her head away, as if she was ashamed to cry in front of me and I realized she thought I had admonished her for it. I just didn't want her to waste the energy on me. She wasn't acting at all like the Katie Fitch I knew, ducking her head in a bashful way. In fact she reminded me of the Katie I had seen after the whole 'hitting her on the head with a rock' thing. Or that time when we went out to smoke a cigarette and she questioned me how it felt to finally have it all. I did have it all back then, everything she had always wanted and I had basically told her it wasn't all that grand. I walked over to her and cupped her cheek before turning her face towards me with the gentle pressure of my hand. My thumbs brushed the second and the third tear away before they could roll any further and took a small step back as I looked her in the eye.

"You're Katie **Fucking** Fitch. You don't.."

I lamely pointed at the sweater she was still holding close to her, as if she was hugging it tightly.

" .._hug_ Effy Stonem's sweatshirt."

She looked down at the article of clothing in her hands and looked a bit surprised at herself.

"Or be sad, crying like this.."

I watched her look to the ground in submission.

"In front of **me**."

She hugged the sweatshirt tighter.

"_For_ me."

She turned her head away again and I felt at a loss. Normally she would've barked at me by now, calling me out on my own weaknesses and yelling at me for trying to make her look weak. She would never show any sign of weakness, of sadness even. This wasn't like her, to put on the brave face and tell me to fuck off. I was so out of my element here, so out of depth. I trembled.

She noticed.

That's when I felt arms wrapping around me as we fell backwards on the bed, me on top of her as I struggled against her grip.

"_Ow_! Katie what the _fuck_ are you-"

She turned me around swiftly so I stared at the wall the way I did before. As she clung onto me from behind I stiffened out of reflex. I couldn't wrap my head around this.

We were spooning, I realized.

Katie Fitch and Effy Stonem, _spooning._


	6. Breaking habits

**Hey guys, sorry but this is written with my left hand so if there are mistakes... It hurts like a bitch, thanks for asking so idk if i'll update any other story soon until the cast comes off in 3 weeks. Enjoy!**

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**Katie POV**

It's so unlike me to hold someone so strongly, to feel so – dare I say the word? – _dependent_. But the minute I turned around and saw her I just knew I had to hold her close and not let go. Her disappearing act had impacted me more than I wanted to think about. I could sense the awkwardness settling over us when Effy Stonem realized we were spooning but I refused to loosen my grip on her. She would have to suck it up and deal because as much as this was for her, it was for me as well. I wasn't about to let her go anytime soon. I knew she wasn't all that used to hugging or cuddling unless is it was after sex or when Freddy gave her the quick side hug as she hid under his arm and tried to disappear into his side. I wonder if anyone noticed how she always seemed to either want Freds either far away not touching her or so close that she could hide in him. _Ah Freddy_. He'd told me all about how he tried to coax her into a relaxing embrace or how he tried to snuggle the tension away but he never succeeded unless she was high or drunk and even then she'd only allow t for a minute before turning it into sex. He told me how she would freeze up so bad that he could almost hear her bones crack and when he finally gave up and stopped his hold, she would scamper to her side of the bed. It made it easy for him to get up and pee or make her some tea in the mornings. But I could tell he wished she would cling so close he'd have to wake her up to get free. I always thought he exaggerated. _Surely he should've tried harder or something?_

Now I figured he was right about her being so detached and tensed. Unlike him though I refused to give in to her antics. She was like a scared kid and these kids have these habits that need to be broken and replaced with better ones. She needed to break this pattern of withdrawing herself from the first physical contact she felt that wasn't the result of – _or the buildup to_ – a casual fuck. She needed to learn how it felt without being drugged up or drunk. She needed to learn what sweet caresses could feel like and how you could miss the body warmth of someone when the hug was over. So I just tightened my grip the second I could feel her start to wriggle. I didn't care that she was uncomfortable. She lay on a soft mattress and yes my grip was restricting her from moving away but other than that there was nothing that made this extra uncomfortable. It was all in her head, I knew that. She may not be used to this, she may have convinced herself she didn't need it but I _damn well knew_ she could use the company right now.

The way she'd clung to me earlier in her state of shock, how she buried her face in my neck and hid in my arms, how she only responded to my voice; it all had me fully convinced that – even though the pairing would sound odd to anyone who knew us and to be honest it was weird for me as well – Effy _Enigmatic_ Stonem and Katie _Fucking_ Fitch needed each other. She needed me just as much as I needed her, for reasons both of us failed to understand at the moment.

_And then it happened._

A long sigh followed by the slacking of shoulders, relaxing of taut muscles and – to my biggest astounding – she wrapped her arms over mine, who were enclosed around herself. I held my breath for several seconds, as the roles suddenly seemed reversed. Her breathy, shaky chuckle brought me back from my shell shocked state at what I had accomplished just now and I giggled in response. She wriggled again but this time she did it to move closer as I felt her back press into my breasts and her ass grind against my crotch for a fleeting moment. My eyes fluttered at the sensation and my breath hitched faintly. I didn't think too weirdly of feeling aroused, it had been months since I'd had a decent fuck and Effy Stonem had the beauty to attract anyone – male or female. I smiled blissfully as I settled my head on the place where neck met shoulder and sighed. The quick shiver that rolled over her spine didn't go unnoticed as she was pressed into me. I felt her freeze next before her breath calmed and her ribcage slowly rose and fell under my arms. Then suddenly I heard it, muttered so faintly I could hardly believe I'd heard it – maybe I was imagining things?

"Thank you."


	7. Fuck

**Katie POV**

We lay like this for a while. Just listening to each other's breathing. Surprisingly we had calmed each other down enough to forget about the events that had happened mere hours ago. The moment I realized this of course, I knew I had jinxed it. My phone blasted from my purse. The customized ringtone alerted me that it was my sister calling. She was probably wondering what was holding us so long. I hesitated to answer it, feeling so at peace with my arms wrapped around Effy Stonem. As weird as it still sounded, I thought about just ignoring it and keep hiding us away from the world for a moment longer in my bed. But Effy Stonem made the decision for me. She turned in my arms and looked at me with her icy blue eyes. They pierced right through me, like they always did. She needn't say the words. I already knew what she was saying for some reason. I sighed and turned over to reach clumsily in my purse for my phone. The caller ID confirmed my earlier assumption and I held the phone to my ear as I accepted the call.

"Katie will you fucking an – **Oh Katie**!"

I sighed in annoyance at being disturbed.

"Yes Ems. We'll be there soon, _calm your tits_ Hun."

"Jesus Katie it's been _three_ fucking hours okay? And you left y'know _with her_ and well she didn't look too good so I just got worried about my twin sister..."

"_Really?_ It's been three hours?"

I was surprised it had been that long already. It had felt like minutes to me, not hours. I turned my head to look at Effy Stonem who still lay in one of my arms, tucked into my side. Her eyes had widened a little bit which confirmed that she hadn't thought we'd been gone that long either. Somehow that gave me a happier buzz in my chest and a bit of warmth accompanied it. It had felt like minutes to her too. I smiled.

"Yes Katie. Naoms and I got worried, can you blame us? As did the others of course."

I could hear Naomi mutter something and I suppressed a chuckle. I knew I'd been hard on the peroxide blonde in the beginning but I wasn't completely stupid. I saw the way she made Em smile. I just didn't want my family to fall apart and I blamed her for it. However since Naomi had cheated with that cadet, what was her name again? Fuck. It was a stupid name. Ah yes Sophie. The bitch. Then again the dead girl had just been stupid enough to fall for a taken girl. Remind you of anyone?

"Sorry Ems? We just lost track of time here okay? We both needed to chill out for a minute yeah? Don't be too pissed at us, we'll be over soon. Just going to grab the shit and get moving. _Ten minutes_ tops."

I heard her sigh on the other line and I imagined how her shoulders sagged as her previous worry and anger at us dissolved. I knew her well enough to know she was used to dealing with my antics, we'd been all we had for years and I had pulled stunts like this before. Somehow I still felt a bit irrationally angry at Naomi for taking my sister away from me. I supposed I needed to work on that a bit more.

"Yeah – _Okay_. Just – be careful Katie."

I smiled at the concern lacing her voice. It reminded me of how glad I was we'd made up.

"Yeah Ems, stop worrying so much I can see those wrinkles from here already and trust me _no one_ looks good with wrinkles – not even glorious bitches like us Fitches."

I heard her stifle a laugh and Naomi snort before I heard the dial tone. I sighed relieved as I dropped the piece of tech in my purse. I turned my head to look at Effy Stonem, who was lying exactly still and looking at me with curious and amused eyes and the faintest corner of her mouth twitched upwards. I shot her a small, tired smile and gazed into her beautiful eyes. They looked like a stormy ocean, waves crashing to the shore with emotions. The color varied from grey and icy blue to an almost deep, warm blue as there were swirls of the most exotic, flashing blue that trapped me in a place far far away. She was watching me just as intently. If I were a boy I'd say she was drinking me in, storing me away in her mind for later. Almost like you met this hot guy at the pub and you knew you were probably never going to see him again so you try and remember his face, his laugh, his smell so, when he was gone you'd at least have the memory to look back on.

I should've stopped her, I think, or at least pulled away or turned my cheek or something. But I couldn't. I was paralyzed by her eyes. They held me captive as she leaned closer. It almost felt unreal. This entire thing had to be a dream or some sort. Whether it was a good dream or a nightmare I couldn't exactly pinpoint. But as soon as she came closer I knew whatever I was expecting, wouldn't come even close at all to this.

She inched closer, I could smell her intoxicating scent of saltiness and a faint flowery smell as it overwhelmed my senses. Her body lay pressed against mine but suddenly she pulled up and rested on her right elbow, which angled her just that bit above me. All the way her eyes watched me curiously, and a bit amazed, snapping pictures like a camera to capture this moment and develop it in her head. She'd make a great artist. I didn't know why I thought that but the idea stuck. I breathed in shakily. Fuck. My arms were covered in goose bumps, my palms felt sweaty against the bed linens and the lower part of my abdomen clenched in anticipation – for what I did not know.

For fuck's sake.


	8. Panic attack

**Idk if anyone is actually reading this or not..but i'll update until ch10 because i have those written out already and i feel like it's something i wanna do atleast for myself. If you guys are reading this story and you want me to continue just let me know alright? I have plenty of ideas.**

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**Katie POV**

Suddenly she made a move, I closed my eyes and waited but unlike what I was expecting – _yeah what was I expecting_?- her body pressed heavily into mine as she leaned over to grab her sweater from where it had fallen on the floor next to my bed. As she pulled back to her side she sat up and watched me again. I had opened my eyes and stared confusedly at the spot on the wooden floor where she had picked up the article of clothing. Disappointment settled deep within my stomach – why I did not understand. I clenched my eyes shut and shook the feelings away before propping myself up on my elbows. As I looked at her I felt another rush of goose bumps arise on my skin. Her eyes were wide and strikingly blue. She looked scared, surprised and mildly amused but there was a burning intensity that lay behind those emotions that made the muscles down there – _yeah yeah down there_ – clench almost painfully. Then she blinked and her mask of aloofness and the all-knowing smirk slipped back on. I watched curiously as she pulled the sweater over her head again and I shook my head once more to get myself out of this daze I seemed stuck in. Gone was the peace I felt earlier. I now felt disturbingly conflicted and I did not know why. I grabbed my purse and we got a move on to the hospital.

As soon as we stepped out of the elevator, I felt a familiar body press into my own with strong arms wrapped around my neck and a soothing, raspy voice against my left ear. I grinned at Naomi who rolled her eyes in return before scanning them worriedly over my companion. She stood beside me and regarded Naomi in the same fashion. She took a brief glance at me before giving a curt nod at Naomi. She tried to act casual as she put her arms around herself before walking over to the peroxide blonde. Those two had always had some sort of connection, one that both I and my sister had been jealous over multiple times. (Of course she over Effy and I over Naomi.) They had similar personalities I supposed. Both of them had trust issues, with themselves and others. They were both scared shitless of their own minds and feelings. They were both very intellectual and sensitive beings. They liked to be viewed as independent, strong and detached. They were both witty – Naomi with words and Effy with looks- and they had pessimistic views on the world but who could blame them for that? They communicated mostly through silence, body language and looks. Both of them wore their emotions in their eyes though and only some people were able to stop those beautiful orbs from looking cold and empty just like Ems and I wore out hearts on our sleeves.

I silently found myself envious of the connection Naomi seemed to have so effortlessly with Effy. I found myself once more hating, blaming Naomi for a connection with someone else that wasn't even something she could actually control. Still I narrowed my eyes at the pair but I pushed those angry feelings down. This was not the moment, if there ever was a moment at all. Still there was this nagging voice that whispered angrily how Naomi seemed to take everything that was mine, away from me. I shook my head in annoyance as the embrace finally ended and Ems turned her back on me to walk back towards the pair of blue eyed beauties still rambling miles an hour.

I shook my head in frustration at my own thoughts. Effy Stonem was not mine, not in any way, we weren't even friends. That thought sent a painful sting to my chest and for a second there I found it hard to breathe. I halted my movements and just stood there, tears pricking my eyes. It was irrational the way I was behaving and it was just illogical. A voice inside my head tried to get me to move but it didn't register. Nothing registered.

Emily's cries for me sounded like they were coming from miles away. My heart was beating so fast I thought I might die from its rapid pounding in my chest. I couldn't breathe as angsty thoughts invaded my brain, attacking me relentlessly.

_We're not friends!_

Gasp.

_She can leave me behind at any time she wants!_

Gasp.

_She already left me once!_

A horrififying wheezing sound erupted from my throat.

_I need her! Why do I need her?_

My hand flew to my chest.

_She'll leave me!_

My lungs squeezed hard and painfully.

_Not mine! Not mine!_

There was this weight pressing down on my chest that prevented me from expanding my lungs as my body went rigid with pain. I grasped at my top trying to tear it away from my chest as if it would help me to breathe better. I heaved for oxygen that was deprived from me as my vision began to blur. I tried to hold on to something when I felt my balance leave me and the dizziness hit. Before I knew it I was on my knees, wheezing, trying to get the words out of my mouth. Help me, oh god, just help me! My mind was frantic, scattered around like pieces of a broken mirror all staring tauntingly back at me. Effy Stonem will leave you. The panic rose again and a cry wrangled its way from my throat. _I need her, I need her now._ The plea of help sounded foreign to my ears but as much as I hated vulnerability I needed someone now. No not someone, _her_.

Cold hands grasped my own and I smelled the lemongrass again. Its strong, piercing scent along with something unique that wormed its way into my mind and helped to clear the fog up a bit. I stilled my erratic, searching eyes and frowned, trying to hear the muttering voice near me as the cold hands gripped my shoulders tightly instead but I couldn't unblur my vision. The cold fingers gently cupped my cheek and suddenly a paper bag was pressed against my mouth, just under my nose. I smelt the stink of the paper and tried to scramble away. _What was I supposed to do?_

"Breathe Katie."

The words rung loud and clear. I tried to do as was requested of me but my lungs refused to cooperate with me. I started panicking again, thinking I might never breathe again and pushed the bag away from my face. But a cold hand pressed firmly against my chest, which made me halt my movements. The fingers spread on the valley between my breasts, keeping it still there. Its presence was enough to bring me back.

I focused my eyes on the wide, scared ones in front of me and things started clicking into place. I tuned my ears again and there was a piercing, strong but soft voice telling me things that my body seemed to automatically respond to.

"Easy now. Focus. Breathe in. Breathe out."

I did as I was told but still felt my chest hyperventilating, going against her wishes.

"Slower Katie. That's it, better. Follow me. In."

I inhaled deeply, trying to absorb air as much as I could.

"Now out. Good. You're doing good Katie."

We sat there for what felt like forever trying to control my breathing until I had calmed down enough to realize what just happened to me.

I had a panic attack.

_Fuck._

Slowly the rest of the world came back into focus and I felt the exhaustion settle in my bones. I let the paper bag fall to the floor, not even realizing I was holding it to my mouth all this time. As Effy pulled back her cold hand from my chest another panic wave coursed through me. _Don't leave, not again!_

"No, please don't..."

Before the hand could go very far, my own warm and tiny ones pulled it back and grasped it so tightly against my chest my knuckles were white. She stared at me briefly confused before looking at our joined hands, desperation dripping from my fingertips. I swear I saw a hint of a smile there for a second -_she looks so pretty when she smiles_- before she nodded curtly and made a move to get me up. As we stood back up I brushed against her chest with my arms and the goosebumps were back.

It seemed the dizziness hadn't faded as I swayed a bit. Her other hand settled firmly on my waist, planting me securely on the ground. I squeezed the hand mine held captive in appreciation and she nodded again with a very quick flash of a smile. _That is two times you made her smile Katie_. I smiled wistfully and she regarded me once more with a curious, pensive look before scrunching her nose in a cute manner. My eyes dropped from her nose to her lips as she licked them. _No wonder Freddy chose her, i mean who wouldn't? Look at those lips. _My lower body clenched violently again and I looked back to her surprised eyes. _And those damn piercing eyes._ I saw an emotion flash before she let go of my waist and turning towards Emily and Naomi. The first took a few cautious steps towards me but kept her distance, a fact I was very happy for. I would feel suffocated otherwise.

The latter watched me, also with a pensive face and I smiled a bit at her to ease her worried mind. Her entire face shifted from concern to a cocked eyebrow and a cocky smirk as surprise twinkled in her eyes. It was the smirk she gave to us Fitches often because it irked us. Well in reality it only annoyed mom, I pretended it did and Emily just fawned over it. It was hard to explain but even though the bickering and snide remarks hadn't faded since they got together we knew neither of us still meant the words being said. It was the way this worked for us. I bitched she bitched back. It was a playful establishment that formed a bond between us. It made conversations easy and we knew what to expect from one another. Emily gave up on trying changing it and just accepted the fact that we got along now. Well I still needed to say my piece about the whole Sophie incident but that could wait for now. Other than that, we were friends. Or well, as friendly as I could be with a Campbell. I grinned back at the blonde and she came closer to grab my sister's hand. She pulled her close and whispered something in her ear as she glanced briefly at Effy Stonem. It was amazing to see how my sister's body responded to her. The way her shoulders relaxed and her wrinkles disappeared. It was clear she belonged alongside the peroxide blonde. There was no mistaking that. Emily backed away slightly and opened her mouth in protest but was quickly shut up by the blonde through a kiss – which my sister did not mind of course. I sighed and watched them sadly, a sense of loneliness settling again. I could feel her enigmatic stare but I refused to meet her eyes, settling on our joined hands instead with a sad smile, afraid of what I might find in those if I did.

Fucktity fuck.

_What the hell is going on with me?_


	9. I'm the the rock for once

**Sorry I've been gone for so long but life has been busy busy busy and now that i have finished my Quinntana fic - yes i know i finished a story shocker - I found the time to type in the chapters and even write a new one. So here it is chapter nine! **

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Effy POV

Katie Fitch just had a _panic_ attack. Katie _Fucking_ Fitch had a _fucking_ panic attack. The facts were there but they sounded so strange – even to_ my own ears_ – that I found it or difficult concept to grasp. What threw me even more was that I – not Emily,_ her friggin sister_ – had been the only one able to get her to calm down. In her struggle for air Katie had pushed Emily away – who was clueless as the help her sister anyways – but it had spoken volumes when her own sister didn't get through to her as to how bad the attack must've been. But when I grabbed her hands she had fucking _stilled _instead just for a fraction of a second before the wheezing had started again but it was enough for me to know I got through to her. Having experienced this more than enough I grabbed the paper bag that was offered to me from the nurse's hands and tried to tell her in the gentlest voice I could master to listen to me and follow my instructions. I knew the second I'd get her to tune in and listen this would all be over in seconds. And to my own surprise I was right.

I watched Naomi lead Emily down the hallway towards the vending machines around the corner to give Katie the privacy to get herself back together again – knowing that Katie hated showing any sign of weakness in front of anybody in public. This thought made my stomach jump violently again. The pleading desperation in her deep brown eyes as her voice broke in the plea for me not to retract my hands, for me not to leave. That was exactly what she hadn't said and it threw me for a loop. Sure enough another wave of guilt hit me square in the face_. I'd left her there in her room_ as I made my cowardly exit. I'd probably scared the hell out of her – _no kidding Stonem the impromptu hug had been sign enough and the cuddling session, that was a big sign as well_. For some reason around me that strong girl I used to know had disappeared. Oh I remembered teaching her how to smoke; I still remember seeing her so broken.

I glanced at my hand which she still held in a vice grip. If she hadn't seemed so frightened of letting go of it I would've told her it was starting to hurt – quite frankly _like a bitch_. But somewhere deep down I could feel a happy spark at the contact, no not happy more like content that she held on so tight. I'd never been clung to like right now, I'd never been seen as a rock to lean on – since my mind often was so fucked up I needed to lean on someone – but I found it nice to think of us leaning on each other for support without one always doing the same leaning and the other being the rock. It was so unlike with Freddy where I had always leaned on him, been taken care of by him. I never realized how accomplished it could feel to be the one to offer some support herself.

Her scared brown eyes dropped to the floor when the couple turned the corner and it tugged at my heartstrings. I remembered how she'd more than welcomed my hand on her waist to balance her out earlier. I remembered how she'd hugged me like I was going to vanish any moment now back in her room. I remembered quite liking her body pressed up against mine when we were spooning in the bed. So when my body moved in front of her on its own accord and her eyes locked on mine, I realized what my subconscious was trying to have me do and this time I wouldn't let me mind it either. My hand settled on her waist, gripping it tightly as her free hand curled around my bicep for more balance as she was pulled forward a bit. I let it slide to her back and slightly pushed her even closer so she'd get the hint. Her eyelids fluttered closed for a brief second before the surprise was joined by a small, content smile. So I continued to push her closer to me until our fronts molded together and my arm was wrapped securely around her waist. As she was slightly shorter her head came to rest on my left collar bone. Her breath hit my throat in rapid pants betraying her nervousness. I let my cheek rest upon her head as smooth, silky soft locks of hair brushed gently against my chin.

We both let out a long sigh and when her hand lessened the grip on mine but still held to it firmly, letting it swing back and forth next to our hugging bodies and for a minute there I could forget what happened today, even this month.

We stood like that for a while before Naomi's voice pulled us out of our peaceful bubble. Katie pulled her head from my chest and looked up at me with a thousand emotions swirling in her chocolate orbs. I smiled a bot crookedly, trying to assure her – of what though I did not know. But it seemed to work anyways. She smiled back at me and slowly pulled her body away. I squeezed her hip one more time before turning back to stand beside her. She gripped my hand a bit lighter as I started to guide us down the hall - _towards Cook's room I'm sure_ – where "Naomily" stood, as Katie had dubbed the couple a few months back.

Sometimes I wondered whether Emily wasn't the real blonde in the relationship when she stood there staring dumbly with her mouth dropped open and her eyes all wide. Either that or she lacked tact. I could feel Katie shifting nervously from foot to foot, fumbling with the hem of her shirt with her free hand as a result of the uncomfortable stare we were receiving from Emily.

When the red head met my cool, leveled gaze however I received a raised eyebrow. I shot her a warning glare which earned me a scowl in return. But at least she stopped staring at us like that. Naomi had her pensive face on again but didn't comment on the fact that Katie Fitch and Effy Stonem had not only just hugged quite intimately, but were in fact _still _holding hands.

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**I hope someone is still reading this and please review if you do so i know i am not writing this story for no one? Thanks dearies! **


	10. Cook

**A short filler, I need to wrap up the hospital visit and I needed to wrap up Cook first before the major scene in the next chapter! **

**Enjoy!**

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Katie POV

As Naomi knocked on the door my nerves got the better of me again. I started shaking a bit and when I felt the tug of my arm I peeked up at the concerned pair of blue eyes from under my eyelashes. How could she stay so calm?

Her other hand tucked a strand of my wayward hair behind my ear as her fingertips grazed the side of my cheek ever so softly. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself down. Before I could ponder the idea I pressed my lips against her hand – which was still tangled in mine – to offer something akin to a 'thank you' and an 'I'm here for you too' gesture. It took her by surprise and for a minute I dared to panic, thinking I'd pushed too hard but when she squeezed my hand I knew she understood. We both straightened our back and nodded to Naomi to open the door. Her pensice face made way for a knowing smirk directed at the blue eyed beauty next to me as she pushed down the handle and we were met with the sight of a battered Cook lying in a hospital bed.

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Effy POV

He was smiling broadly as we entered the room – the fucking basterd. He grinned at Katie and I and waggled his eyebrows suggestively as he eyed our joined hands. Leave it to Cook to make sexual comments even in the most dreaded circomstances. Somehow I welcomed it gladly, I think we all did since he always made light of things. He had a good heart, he really did. I knew he loved me and I had probably broken him severely, as had happened wth Freddy. I'd tried to love him back, I tried pretending too but it had been too hard with him. Freddy was easier, didn't have those knowing eyes and an endless amount of patience that came from experiencing this with his mother before me. Freddy had been the lesser of two evils, the better choice I'd thought. If only I'd known.

Katie squeezed lightly and tried to surpress her smile by pursing her lips at him and pressing them in a tight line But the corners of her mouth quirked upwards despite her hardest attempts to scowl at him. Our gazes met and somehow I found myself thinking that this felt more right than anything had so far in my life. Oh if only Katie had been a choice too, I might have chosen differently. I was even more shocked to find that I didn't mind these thoughts at all – no not even in the slightest. It must've shown on my face somehow and when I looked into her eyes something shifted for a second. I looked back at Cook and saw him grinning before turning it into a soft, knowing smile, as if he had heard my inner thoughts. It should've alarmed me I think, someone knowing something I did not but I surprised myself again when it didn't – so I just smirked at him and watched his crooked smile returned accompanied by a saucy wink.

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Katie POV

Visiting Cook was easy. He smiled even though you could tell it hurt like a bitch to do so and his face looking like a bright yellow-purple rainbow of sorts all swelled up in a weird shape. He cracked inappropriate jokes like always and we felt instantly better. Even if our friend had just died and this one was stuck in the hospital. _We'd deal with the police and stuff later, no need to bring it all up now._ It wasn't the time to do so anyways. Naomi would tell him to go to the cops soon enough so he could tell his proper story and see what this now meant as he'd been in contact with the court not too long ago. Naomi would help him though – _yeah she'd spin it all so he'd be getting a trial based on self-defense that was sure._ I snickered to myself. _The peroxide blonde was useful like that_ I joked in my head. If Cook got lucky he might even avoid court all together. _Yeah, he'd be fine, we'd make sure of it._

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**Remember reviewing is love dearies!_  
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	11. I'm going with her!

**A bit of a Fitches showdown and an obvious but late compromise. Enjoy!**

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Effy POV

As time rolled by the nurse stopped by to tell us visiting hours were long over and we needed to get a move on. Panda and Thomas had left over an hour ago since Panda's mom had wanted her home and so the same had happened half an hour later with JJ but we'd stayed, _just the four of us._ Much to Cook's complaints and protests and downright flirting the nurse told us she couldn't allow us to stay any longer since she'd already had allowed us two hours over the original end time. We all sighed and started shuffling towards the door, promising Cook we'd be by soon enough. He grinned but you could see the impeding sadness settle in his eyes, knowing he was going to have to face the night on his own again and this time without the help of alcohol or drugs – _any other drugs than he was given by the nurses._ I nodded sadly at him, understanding all too well what he was feeling. I was facing the same fate tonight, alone in my bed. The alcohol was gone, so were the drugs after trying to better my life and all that shit. Mother, _god knows where she was now,_ would probably be too out of it to offer me any money to get some. Besides I had no clue where to go get my shit. Most of it I bought off of Freddy or in clubs anyways. _And this wasn't the time to go hit the dance floor_ I thought. I was startled out of my daydreams by the force of Katie's hand crushing mine. I had just closed the door behind me and hadn't noticed the rising tension in the almost abandoned hallway between the two Fitch sisters. I quickly tuned in and tried to catch the gist of the impeding argument. Naomi looked torn between calming Emily or stepping in between the two. They were slowly invading each other's space, snarling and sneering things at each other.

"I'm your **sister**!"

"Well I am not your _pet project_ Emily so back the fuck off!"

"You're coming with **us**!"

"**Fuck** that I'm not! I'm going with…"

"_Why_? Why _her _and not me? Your _sister_?"

"I..I.. Stop pitying me like this! I'm not a fucking vase I won't _break_! Just spit it out Ems!"

I tugged at Katie's arm but she refused to acknowledge me, when I wriggled my fingers in her grips she just loosened it automatically tiny bit, enough to get the blood flowing again. I tugged harder but again received no response. I saw Naomi's hand being shaken off and our blue eyes met. This wasn't going to be aborted by touches, it was time I clued in to what this was about. But i should've know the second I listened to their words, I was the reason they were fighting. Of course I was.

Emily's voice sounded shrill and accusing to my ears as she sprouted on.

"Goddammit Katie, I need _my sister_ with me tonight okay? We just lost a friend and I know you said you got over him but I know deep down a part of you still loves – _loved_ – him!"

She made a move to step forward but Naomi blocked the attempt with another arm that was once again shoved away.

"**Fuck** _you_ Ems! You have no idea what I'm _feeling_ right now and stop playing the sister card! You've got your better half with you to take care of you! I am the one who's all alone here, so is _she_!"

Emily got a sympathetic look on her face after that.

"I'm sorry you've been feeling so lonely Katie, I know I've been gone a lot with moving into Naomi's! I'm sorry for leaving you there with mom! I really am you _need_ to forgive me Katie!"

Katie sighed at that, exasperated.

"This isn't even about _that _Emily! **Damn you**! This isn't about you, it's about _me_. I want to go with _Effy_. Is that so hard to understand? We're both _alone_ right now, both mourning the same friend and maybe we can be lonely _together_ instead of alone!"

Emily looked flabbergasted at that and leveled me with an angry glare. I stared right back without blinking.

"She _hurt _you, Katie."

I flinched at that. It is true after all. _I hit her with a rock. I was the reason she had a small scar on her forehead. I was the reason she sent her sister to do her exams. I was the freaking reason why Katie Fitch had become so broken, so lost._

"Oh not that again! How _many_ times do I have to tell you I was fucking **choking **her!"

I gasped at the admission. I had no idea people knew about that, or at least Emily did. But what would it change? I still fucked Freddy after leaving her unconscious body to lie there.

"And she **LEFT** you there to go fuck **YOUR **boyfriend!"

Katie winced at that, it was a sore spot and Emily just hit it square on.

"_See_? That's why I don't want to go with you right now. Emotions run high, I'm fucked up and so are you guys but you keep each other strong and who do I have? I don't want to watch you and Naomi be _perfect_ for each other as I sit there. I don't want to be the **victim **in your eyes every time you look at me! I don't want to be your _pity project_ Emily!"

Emily bristled at that and looked ready to protest but Katie held her hand up to silence her.

"Nothing I say will be received objectively by you. You just push _on and on_ about this. I know I didn't do any better with Naomi but you'd think you'd get it of all people Emily. You're acting the way I am supposed to. This isn't _your_ battle to fight, _your _mess to get over. It isn't _your place_ to not forgive Effy because I already **have**."

Now that took me by surprise. _She'd forgiven me? When? How? Why?_ I hadn't done anything to help her forgive me, to earn it. I fucking left her there in the woods and in her room, I left her twice. _God I really am a shallow bitch._ I felt the sickness come up, the bile in my throat rising.

"Okay? I don't know why it is that I feel better being around her right now but I do. Maybe it's because we both had this bond with Freddy, maybe it's just always been there ever since my pathetic attempts to rule college but it's how I feel."

Emily looked angrily at me but relented as her shoulders sagged. For a minute there I had seen the Katie Fitch that had been missing these past months. The irony struck me immediately. I had made her vanish in the first place and now as she defended me of all people, it was back. Just for a fleeting second I saw a fire in her eyes again, a passion other than hidden depths of sadness. Emily noticed too because she gasped and wriggled out of Naomi's hold to push her sister against herself hard. My arms stretched forward for a minute but I refused to let go of her hand. If it was uncomfortable for Katie she'd let go eventually. I owed this to her, _this and so much more. _I started wondering what it was I could do for her to make up for what I did. _What would make things easier on her?_

I let my eyes roam the hallway as I thought of things. It took me by surprise how much I wanted to make things right between Katie and I. It almost felt like I had been when Tony was still around, trying to fix him and his friends, our parents and their marriage; back when I still had the power to fix things instead of making it all crumble upon my touch. My eyes settled on a hardened pair of brown eyes staring hard into me. I met het challenging gaze with the same amount of force. _Damn her if I wasn't going to do whatever it took to help Katie._ I smirked to myself. _Emily wasn't going to stop me_. Katie needed me just as much as I needed her in this moment and even though we had no idea what that meant, or why it was that was how it was anyway and she better deal with it. I looked at her with an my annoying all-knowing smirk as I placed a mask of aloofness on my face just to spite her. Something about her suddenly irked me. I'd given her advice back in our first year of college when she was still hiding behind her sister. I'd seen how she wanted but not dared to step out and be a person herself. I had been happy to see Naomi, her love for the blonde specifically, had given her that bit of strength she needed to be her own person. But right now that was coming to bite me in the ass. Now that Katie was the weaker one, the one with secrets, regrets and scars I saw the dominating side of the Fitches come right back and do the same to her own twin sister. She almost growled at me , seriously they could not have been each other more in that single moment as Katie pulled out of the embrace and punched her sister in the arm. The red head looked accusingly at her sister but relented again under Katie's harsh glare. She muttered an '_I'm sorry'_ towards me and sighed before tucking herself in Naomi's side. I decided I would have a chat with her later, the protectiveness towards her sister was taking on the lengths that Katie's had until a year ago and I knew Emily had no wish to be as overbearing as her sister had been back then. She just didn't know she was doing it obviously. I shook my head to clear my thoughts as I stepped closer towards Katie and opened my mouth. The words however choked in my throat and I rubbed my eyes in frustration. Katie just smiled gently and squeezed my hand. I begged her with my eyes to forgive me. I wanted to stand up for her just now but my legs suddenly felt so weak and my head so heavy. There was a crushing fist around my heart and it was squeezing. I realized I was close enough to my own panic attack, or at least to fainting. The lights hurt my eyes and I felt dizzy. Without realizing it I pulled Katie firmly to my side to keep me ground as I squeezed my eyes shut. Her other arm wrapped itself around my waist from the front and she grabbed my hip firmly, grounding me in that moment.

I choked a sob and opened my eyes to gaze down into her concerned ones. I melted in her chocolate orbs and allowed her to see my fear and exhaustion for a minute until I pulled myself back together but before I could open my mouth Katie had taken the wheel again.

"I'm going with her, _no_ arguments. She needs me and her mom is god knows where. I feel more myself, more together if I can help her and call me selfish but I need to help her just as much as she needs my help. _Please Emily_, understand this isn't about you or our own issues. This is about Effy and I. Okay?"

Emily nodded warily, anything for her sister I could see her thinking. Naomi had wrapped herself around her lover from behind and rubbed her arms up and down. They may have made up but they still had issues too. But for tonight we all just needed each other's company. I understood how Emily wanted both her girlfriend and her sister with her but in the end I would stick with Katie and if she wanted to come with me, who was I to stop her? _Katie was right, we needed each other_.

Naomi however came with a solution we all should have thought about before entering this damn discussion, maybe it was the heaviness of Freddy's death that somehow had not only their emotions heightened but their IQ lowered.

"Look we can all just go to _my place_ alright? Mom is out saving the world with _a group of hippies_ for the night so she'll be back in the morning to cook us some breakfast. For now though we've got the place to ourselves yeah? So just **stop** the bickering and the glares you guys and get a move on. I am actually hungry and tired and I'm sure we all are."

Emily looked up at her with wonder and a deep sense of appreciation, as Naomi smiled back gently clearly pleased with herself for thinking of this. I looked at Katie who raised her eyebrow at me to ask if I agreed with this possible solution. I nodded at her and smiled a little to assure her I was okay with the idea. It was a good compromise. Katie and I would share a room together and Naomi and Emily would but we'd still be close enough to ease up on the worries.

Emily looked at her sister with innocent, hopeful eyes and Katie sighed before nodding her consent.

We all sighed as WWIII had just been avoided and we walked towards the elevator. I allowed Emily and Naomi to walk before us and slowed my pace a little to leave some space in between. Katie took the hint and slowed down as well, looking at me with a curious expression. I leaned down and allowed my lips to ghost over the shell of her ear as I whispered, noticing how a shiver ran over her spine.

"Thank you _babes_. It's nice to see Katie Fucking Fitch make an appearance again."

I smiled a bit smugly at that and got a light punch in the arm but as I tucked another strand of her auburn hair behind her ear I saw the flush creeping up her neck. However it was the admiration and appreciation shining back in her eyes that threw me for a bit. I just shrugged and upped the tempo again to not fall too far behind. Katie however let a small smile bloom across her face for a whole minute before she winked and speeded up even more. All the while I wondered, one – _we were still holding hands_ and two – _would we be spooning again tonight_?

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**R&R!**


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